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Here are the signs that you played too much Oni.
You played too much Oni when:
- your cap falls down and you tend to pick it up in a slide.
- you paint your brother's hair purple, call him Muro and beat him up.
- you do the same as above plus you take your boss and two of your colleagues to help you.
- your best friend is an android that monitors your brain.
- you like to do backflips with a weapon in your hand just because "it looks so damn cool"
- when you go to a restaurant, instead of asking for the menu, you shout "show me what you got" and take a scornful pose.
- you want to do unbelievable martial art moves.
- you DO unbelievable martial art moves.
- when you see a sandwich on the table, you creep up to it from behind, then you spin yourself around saying "You're mine."
- when you're angry, your body emits a purple, or red glow.
- you go to the airport, beat up all the guards and expect the people to give you ammo, or hypos.
- you take medicin and hope, you'll go to overpower mode.
- you stuff your robot toy with crackers, because you want to simulate a Xios explosion.
- you call your big hamster 'Barabas'.
- you break into your boss' office through the roof, accuse him of conspiracy against you, then your boss and his desk fall into the basement.
- you pick up a big marble and hope you will become invisible.
- you jump into a vat full of acid and survive.
- you cover your body with blue jelly and hope that the bullets will bump off... and they do!
- when having a mid-term exam in school, you just sit there, watch the orthers, laugh maniacally, fix your hair, then say "Maybe I should start trying." and turn the paper.
- when you see a fan and you get the sudden urge to hold onto something really fast.
- when you steal a bun in the cafeteria and your boss sends out your colleagues to bring you in, because you've obviously gone rogue.
- when you're on a trip to the conversion center and you get lost, while looking for mutated Muro.
- when you have dreams in which you fight against tiny soldiers.
- when you're at a disco and you're trying to avoid the red lights, "Because the turret would get activated."
- when you spend more time on the rooftops then in your house.
- when you are still reading and all this makes sense to you.
- when you mistake an old, bald man for griffin and you do a stepping disarm on him. (Liem Duong)
- when you watch a soccer match in TV and keep chanting: "Do a crescent moon kick!" (Oni Forum)
- when you see screenshots of Konoko in places she's not supposed to be and say, "Been there, done that." (Jon)
- when you sit down at a keyboard and your fingers automatically go to w,s,a and d. (or your chosen keys) (Jon)
- when you know what the term, "The Day Is Mine" refers to. (Jon) (cheating isn't nice you know ;))
- when you wonder who's back you have to break to get a copy of the E3 multiplayer demo. (Jon)
- when you find yourself wanting the Japanese language version.(Jon)
- when you start giving 'Rooftops' as your address.
- when you see a street-light and think about practicing your flying lariats.
- when getting shot by an uzi, plasma rifle, grenade launcher, laser beam, stun gun and a sniper rifle in quick succesion doesn't seem to be particulary life-threatening anymore.
- when you confuse your neighbour with the Blowtorch Guy. (Frankh)
- when you catch yourself searching every corner of your house for hidden items. (Frankh)
- when you buy a motorcycle only for sliding under closing gates and jumping over parked cars. (Frankh)
- when you always take along rappelling harness, truck keys and a self made laser torch (and of course some hypos) (Frankh)
- when you don't know your real name. (Frankh)
- when you equip your computer with four power switches and moving laser sensors. (Frankh) :)
- when you activate alarm consoles in public buildings in order to fight the guards. (Frankh)
- when you are STILL reading this, agreeing to at least 90 % of the above points. (Frankh)
- when you throw away all of your furniture, carpets, wallpapers, books, pictures, dishes and other "unnecessary stuff" and replace them with some nice data consoles and heavy grey machines. (Frankh)
- when somebody fires a glowing extraterrestrial life-form at you. (Frankh)
- when you see bright green/yellow/red flashes when somebody beats you. (Frankh)
- when you cry out loud "DEVIL SPIN KICK!!" or "RISING FURY PUNCH!!" when being surrounded by a crowd. (Frankh)
- when you visit websites that begin with http://MUKADE.... (Frankh)
- when you build your own training drones using LEGO bricks. (Frankh)
- when you start to suspect that grey trucks transport illegal technology. (Frankh)
- when you somebody is "stripping away" your private files off your computer. (Frankh)
- when you finally abort reading this, go to bed and dream of fighting your enemies, your boss, everyone else you know, and even yourself. (Frankh)
- When your reltive to twenty years old, and your voice still cracks while yelling , "Muro! Stop!" (Nkls)
- when you look at your medical studies book, find the liver, and in a voice of disbelif, say, "One of the things are inside me?" (Nkls)
- you dye your hair purple. (Nkls)
- you fassion a suit of orange and silver armor with TCTF embossed on the overly protective back. (Nkls)
- you think your rifle is defective when no laser is emmited from the barrel. (Nkls)
- you spinn arround and laugh with a mechanical echo. (Nkls)
- you can punch twice, then still have the ability to flipp arround like mad. (Nkls)
- you forget about twenty fundemental laws of modern physics. (Nkls)
- you shot your friend when he cut his leg on a bush. (Nkls)
- you find the sound of snapping spines extreamly gratifing. (Nkls)
- add your own symptoms of playing too much Oni. Send them to: stanlee@centrum.sk